Several local algorithms tried as hard as they could to find a video that New Hampshire resident Ronald Hooper would appreciate but were truly disappointed when he clicked away from the deer and snake video, and then away again from the cow and snake pit video, and then wait a minute, here’s a few seconds watching a python attack a different large mammal of some sort.
The Algorithms felt some relief when Hooper did stop to watch the video of children playing with a giant boa constrictor in a foreigh country, and his effort to report the incident caused another full ten seconds of watch time, granting facebook’s bot system the go ahead to roll out the other cobra cow videos that had been saved from previous scrolling.
“The algorithms are smarter than you are,” said facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg. “Instead of calling it artificial intelligence, for some people we should just say artificial consciousness, or thought. In fact, maybe that is the next tech advancement, “artificial below average intelligence,” or “remedial artificialness.”
Many of the algorithms had all but given up on creating a steady feed of reptile/cow scenes, but Hooper’s failed attempts to report international child abuse bought facebook the time they needed to counteract any security help that was given based on other reports from hundreds of people.
“People have different goals for using facebook,” said Zuckerberg. “But facebook’s goal has always been to bring people closer together, or closer together to snakes if we say so.”
No comments:
Post a Comment